my problem is their problem

I just got bitched out for not making a meeting for TAs in my department. I missed it because I was sick and the meeting before had been a complete waste of time. It went something like "hey gang. we were gonna meet last week but it snowed out. so uh, well, there's really not much to talk about this week...sorry!" My guts were hell for days after. It's funny sometimes to think of someone needing to keep running to the bathroom, but when you're rapidly losing weight, you're exhausted all the time, and your skin is starting to itch and tingle because you are so fucking vitamin deficient, it just loses all of its humor.

The good news is I got a new drug which is helping. I am SO thankful for that. You know who realized the drug works for both migraine and the intestinal stuff? My neurologist? No. My GI doctor? No. My primary care physician? Nope. Me. I found it, I took the info to my pcp, and she said "oh yeah, that's a great idea." I should send them all bills for my time, huh?

The bad news is I've about had it. You don't see how rotten people are until you see them either in a rotten situation themselves or responding to someone else's. I think more the latter than the former because in the latter they can afford to act like shits and be insensitively uninvolved. And why not? It's not their problem. It's mine.

That's going to change. My new policy is my problem IS their problem. I contacted the office for students with disabilities on my campus to ask about starting the process of registering. I was advised not to seek help from that office a few years back by the (then) division head because she said it was easier and better if we negotiated things within the department. Maybe it would've been under her. At the time, I hoped it would be. I also hoped I'd have a unified diagnosis and treatment plan by now. It hasn't, and I don't. So fuck it. I've had it. I'm going to the people who are supposed to make sure that shit like this* doesn't happen.


* this is from my email to the disability service people.
I have received negative evaluations of my progress for two years now, even though for at least the first one I was on track academically. I have experienced negative responses from faculty members as a result of my tendency to self and other advocate, which advocacy is often informed by my own non-academic responsibilities as a result of my health circusmstances. I have been publicly "teased" by faculty who know I have medical problems for the personal accomodations I make for myself (e.g. standing through a talk due to hip pain on sitting, using a rolling bag for my laptop since I can no longer carry more than a few pounds). Moreover, I feel I have been pressured to disclose details of private medical information both within my department and to outside university offices like financial aid without any formal assurance of the privacy of this information or who will have access to it (and often with little effective accomodation, consideration, or assistance).

Regarding the faculty, I do not believe they take my condition seriously and therefore they do not believe what they are doing constitutes any sort of harassment. Since I have not officially registered or sought registration as having a disability due to the limitations my health place on me, their behavior does not seem to constitute anything actionable (although I certainly believe it is rude, insensitive, and unprofessional at times). I am not contacting the disabilities office to complain or for information on a complaint. I simply wish to get some help determining if my condition counts as something for which I can formally register as a student with a disability for and be given support and resources which may help to relieve some of the increased stress this situation is creating.