Add it up

Feeling kind of shitty so I'm missing a meeting tonight. This sucks but I'm going to try to get some work done so I don't feel like a total waste.

On the plus side, A___ is cooking dinner at the moment and it smells REALLY yummy. Mushrooms sauteed with wine is one of my favorite smells because my god it's good.

Today I did very little. I had big plans involving going to campus, hitting the financial aid office to drop off my enrollment form, and showing my face to the faculty who will otherwise conclude that I am sitting on my ass at home eating bon bons and living the vita slacka. I am not, but I've seen them make this assessment of others so I know it could easily apply to me.

However, before I got out today, I got this from financial aid:
You have attempted (registered for) more than the maximum permissible number of credits for a student pursuing a doctorate (including transfer credits).

It is for the above reason(s) that your request for financial aid has been denied for the 2006-2007 academic year.

Now this isn't a huge surprise to me. In fact, it is part of why I took so long getting my financial aid paperwork done. I suspected this was coming because they hit me with it last year too. Last year was the first year as a grad student I applied for loans. I was told I was approved for x amount, then sent exactly the same message you see above. What up with that? Presumably the loan program requires schools to ensure that students are not just sucking up federal loans (you know, 'cause it's such free money), wasting time and precious not free money we will need to pay back with interest while we drink and drug our way through school. And so even though that was the first time I asked for money while I was in grad school and even though it had been 15 years since I had taken out loans as an undergrad, my school felt I was at risk of being exactly that kind of apparently wide spread freeloading loser.

See, the way they measure satisfactory progress (which they are required to do by the federal government) is by how many credits you've taken in pursuit of your degree. What counts as credit toward the degree is broad and means in this context simply "graduate credit courses" on your transcript. You took them here, they're on the transcript, even if they are irrelevant, which in my case they are. Since I started off as a PhD student in one department then was harassed by my insane advisor to the point where it became clear I had to leave or switch to a different department, I have four years of a whole lot of credits, most of which are largely useless towards my current degree. I have four years of Noam Chomsky dogma that I had to essentially unlearn, and lost time on research methods, theoretical perspectives, findings, and stats that I had to catch up on. Hence, I have SHITLOADS of credits. More than enough for a PhD, according to financial aid.

I went through all this shit last year with them. I spoke to the dean (acting since the previous dean had been sent to a farm to live with other deans who tend to say horrible, racist things in public). The dean was unhappy that this was how the financial aid office was applying the credit limits or satisfactory academic progress requirements for grads. Specifically, his problem was that financial aid requires a written appeal before they will reinstate someone's eligibility for aid. This causes delays in loan disbursement, anxiety for the student, extra work tracking down faculty who are on vacations and/or out of town, etc. It also in some cases pressures students to disclose confidential personal information ranging from family tragedy, marital problems, and health issues. What makes it so extra disturbing is that once you have been deemed to have too many credits, you must go through this process EACH YEAR until you are done. Mr. Dean-guy said he would speak to them about this and try to change it. I'm sure he meant to. He's an earnest fellow. But he not usually very effective in any of the issues he addresses. I'm not sure if this is more because the school just really doesn't give a shit about graduate students and their needs or if it is because he flakes. How can you ask the dean that? "Hey Dean Doofus, did you like totally flake on that financial aid thing last year?" Earnest or no, I doubt he'd admit to that.

This year, I decided that since they wouldn't get around to telling me that I was denied aid until mid summer anyhow and since I will find the whole process about as much fun as a root canal, there was no rush in getting the first package processed. I just did my fafsa this past month. And voila, here's my rejection, without the cumbersome and disappointing denial following the initial approval.

And so I spent the afternoon on the phone with them ("Do I really need to write another appeal? Do you really need to know all of the gorey details of my checkered life since I started grad school? Do I really need to ask my troll-like division head for another letter stating that I have only been in this program for three years?") and the glorious financial aid hold music (holy shit it was bad), then writing e-mails to various faculty members asking them to yet again write supporting documents for the appeal.
Which sucked, btw.

However, while I feel tired and shitty today, less disappointed but highly annoyed nonetheless with my university's beurocratic bullshit, my hip is not too painful at the moment. I have a sweet guy who is cooking me dinner even though his birthday is this week and he's the one who's supposed to be kicking back and being taken care of, and I've got some awesome friends who are there for me if and when I need them. Overall, I think I come out ahead.