Late Night

It was close to one a.m. when the phone rang. It's my brother, Tr. He says "Heeeeyyyy....how ya doin'?" all casual and I know that something is really wrong. "Uh, good? How are you? What's up?" He had told me he's been sick lately and during the call he coughs a lot. He shouldn't be up at this hour since the fatigue he's been feeling has been intense. He says he can't even make it through a six hour day.

What's up is his boyfriend. Having coaxed my brother back with promises of an attempt at reconcilliation, he is now returning to his same old shit. The new and improved boyfriend lasted a total of 6 days. The good thing is that at least Tr wasn't sobbing when he called me. He sounded rather angry actually, not enraged, but annoyed at having been dicked with yet again. What pisses me off about this guy who is jerking my little brother around is that he keeps telling my brother that his way of doing things is how "everyone" does them. Not just any old things. Relationship things. Intimacy things.

That is just plain coercive. You don't get to assert your personal preferences for intimacy within a relationship under the bullshit reasoning that your ways are indisputably correct since they conform to social norms. WFT?! Relationships are about the people in them. If one can't at least respect and try to accomodate the rational stated needs, desires, and style of the other, then there isn't any relationship at all. Just bullshit.

My brother says his boyfriend does show him he loves him, and I said "How?" Tr had a hard time coming up with anything concrete. He said "Well he used to..." and, largely inappropriately Janet Jackson's "What Have You Done for Me Lately?" popped into my head. The side effects of growing up with a diva loving gay teen sibling - inappropriate recall of Janet Jackson, Samantha Fox, and Madonna lyrics.

So Tr is talking of leaving him, again. I hope it works. I hope he does so he can get on with his life and make the most of it. He told me this week he's going back on the HIV drugs again, which about breaks my heart because I know they make him sick but he clearly needs some antiviral therapy right now. My worst fear is that he will remain attached to this man who is clearly so wrong for him and his health will continue to decline under the stress of maintaining this "relationship".

I got him to laugh at least. I did my best Margaret Cho impression, the Mistress Pauli bit. It is fitting since Tr's boyfriend is acting like some kind of Sharon Stone soft top belle of the ball brat. I'm going to have to start calling my brother at random times during the day to leave messages with his favorite quotes. I want him to laugh more. He needs it.