Argument

A friend and I had an argument tonight. It's been horrible. I started off in a pretty foul mood and mostly I've stayed that way. meanwhile, he is trying to convince me that I am still capable of love and tenderness. We have entered into some kind of philosophical debate I think.
My friend writes:

> Life is pain, pain is growth, and growth is joy.
> Joy is the reason for
> living.

My reply

Speaking from loads of experince, pain is not always growth.
Pain sometimes (I'd say often in my experience) is just pain.
Pain is often a signal of something bad, of some corrosion
or disease. In the worst of cases, pain is just mindless
meaningless unpredictablepain that will teach nothing
that will help nothing and that will stunt you if it
hits you when you are down, that can frighten you into
acting atrociously, that can eliminate your ability to care
about anything other than escaping it.

Growth is not joy.  Growth is almost always painful
and traumatic.  As an abstract concept of something that
happens to someone else or to ourselves when we are
not experiencing it, growth may be cause for rejoicing,
but it is in and of itself not joy.

Joy may well be a reason for living, but it can't be
the only one.  If it were, when people like me are in
bleak moments like this one, then there would be
no reason for living. At times like this, I continue
even if only because I will
and I therefore must brush my teeth.
So my existence today, tomorrow,
and for the forseeable future
is a complete contradiction to your statement.