Mom in Movies

Mother's day is coming.

I'm not a fan of mother's day. I think some people might see this as being directly because as an adult, I have chosen not to have a relationship with my own mother. However I would argue that this lack of relationship as well as my dislike of mother's day, although certainly correlated, are not causally associated with each other. They do share a common cause, which is that my mother was a difficult person to be close to. The closer you were, the more difficult it was. And on mother's day, it was just that much more difficult.

I have a personal history of mother's days and mother's days' presents that were never enough to make up for all the mutual disappointment and animosity that colored my childhood relationship with my mother. My siblings and I were raised in an iconoclastic intellectualist household where an attitude of derision of gender stereotypes was a natural outcome, and yet at some point in my later childhood, our mother told us (sobbing and probably drunk) that it was clear we didn't love her enough. One of her examples was that none of us ever got her mother's day presents like one of those crappy gold toned "#1 Mom" key chains. We bought and made her numerous presents each year. The problem wasn't a lack of presents. The problem was that no one bought her the #1 Mom presents. We thought she'd want the ones that were from us as individuals, the hand made cards, the candy that we know she likes, shit like that. Who knew she wanted a #1 Mom mug to drink her bourbon out of?

All this adds up to a perspective on mother's day that is a bit cynnical.

I know I am not alone in disliking mother's day. My sister and I have both noticed that during the run up to mother's day, the card section of stores is a rather emotionally charged place to be. Hence, I write posts about ruined mother's days and mom's beef log basket. I also write posts about movies I watch around mother's day as my tribute to the social construct of "Mom".

I know there are more movies than those that immediately come to mind. Some I can't recall right now (but will add when I do) and some are obvious ones I didn't include (Mommy Dearest) because I didn't find them all that entertaining. My life and work are challenging enough. I like my entertainment to be entertaining. So for your mother's day entertainment, I present a list of movies featuring mothers, motherly gender role bullshit, or mother/child relationships. Enjoy!

Serial Mom (1994) Comedy. It stars Kathleen Turner as a Stepford Wife soccer mom type gone very very bad. Over the top satire of "perfect" suburban lifestyle and lives is director/writer John Waters' favorite subject. If you aren't familiar with John Waters, be warned. He's a peculiar one. It's kind of gross in parts and has some violence, but really it's worth it to see Kathleen Turner made up à la June Cleaver snarling "Pussy!" into the phone.

Throw Momma From the Train (1987) Comedy. Directed by Danny DeVito. It stars Billy Crystal (it's ok, his character is supposed to be annoying) as Larry, a frustrated writer teaching at a local college while trying to write his second great novel. He swears his first great novel was stolen by his now extremely successful ex-wife. Danny DeVito is Owen, one of Larry's students. Owen is a strange literal man who lives at home with his nearly demonically cruel elderly mother. Larry suggests Owen go see a Hitchcock movie to improve Owen's horrible mystery writing skills. Owen sees Strangers on a Train, gets the wrong idea, and believes Larry would like to switch murders - Larry's ex for Owen's mother. Criss-cross!

The Manchurian Candidate (1962) Drama/Thriller. It's not really a mother movie, but Angela Lansbury plays a just plain wicked mother that is too awesome to pass up.

The Stepford Wives (1975) Mystery/Drama. Oh this is just such a classic. I know they remade it but they took the camp angle. The campy of this original is so much more pure, and it is a little creepy. I included it because the hallmark perfect mother's day is so Stepford.

I Heart Huckabees (2004) Existental comedy. Lilly Tomlin and Dustin Hoffman play detectives who assist people in solving their existential mysteries. While not presented in a smack you over the head mainstream hollywood way, family relationships are the key to the main character's plight.

MirrorMask (2005) Fantasy. Writer Neil Gaiman (one of my favorites - thanks JT for the reference) who is always strange in a pretty good way, brings us a children's tale. Awwww. It's sort of like if you took Siouxsie (with or without Banshees), Jim Henson, and a CGI Edward Gorey and hit "blend" for 1 minute. Dark, deep, sarcastic, and a little freaky. The story begins with 15 year old artistic Helena having a typically ugly and quickly out of hand 15 year old clash of wills with her mother. Soon after, her mother falls acutely ill. While waiting to hear her mother's fate, Helena is drawn into (no pun intended) a world which resembles her own odd sketches. Mother themes abound, and it's a very stylish movie.