Gong

I have a rule in movie watching. If there is consensus that it really sucks and isn't even fun to make fun of, it is turned off. Whether we are five minutes in or five minutes to the end.

I used to stick it out, watch the whole damned thing. After having been burned too many times (Happiness, for example. I'm not even going to link that one. You want to know? Go IMDB it yourself).

These days, if it sucks, it's likely to get "gonged". Anyone watching the movie is welcome to initiate gonging, although in general gonging can only happen if all parties watching the movie agree that it sucks and should be aborted. If two or three think it sucks and one thinks there's something worthwhile still coming, we usually hold out - e.g., this movie. My sister A___ deeply hoped that the distopian epic elements hinted at on the cover would at some point come about in the movie. She hoped this right up to the end, when the horrible voice over (which I think may have even been an innovation at that point...never a good sign) began, presumably to make all better this miscarriage of a movie. Because of my sister's hope, we didn't gong it. We even rewound the last few minutes so my sister could listen to the closing monologue without audience commentary and hoots of laughter.

In retrospect, I have to say at least that one was bad enough to be funny. Some movies are just unsalvagable. I watched something like this last night. Not only did I watch it, I watched all of it. I kept hoping it would improve. I don't know why I thought it might. So many just plain wrong (wrong for characters I could like or at least understand/not hate, wrong for the story I wanted told, wrong wrong wrong) things happened early on that I think I was wishing even right up to that last 30 seconds for something to happen which would make it all at least a little better. Nothing did. It only got worse. The mother dies, the guy gets engaged to the sister. The daughter hooks up with the fashion challenged EMT who she apparently disliked for no good reason or is now with for no reason other than that her mother is dead and she is now suddenly aware of the possibility of loneliness and separation - this is NOT part of the movie. The hooking up is seen as positive and good, a development for the daughter. Blllrrrach! And lastly, we are lead to believe the female lead ends up happily involved with the brother of the man who is now engaged to her sister, after having spent an intoxicated evening NOT having sex together (he slept on the floor...that's like real love (squeeeeealll!)). Oh my god what a piece of shit!

In fact, I woke up briefly too early this morning to my cat dragging his underside (shaved belly,smelly rear end, and all) over my forehead and thought "Why the fuck did I watch that whole piece of shit movie?" Then I went back to sleep for a short time because that is no way to wake up.

But I'm reconsidering the question now that I am fully awake and caffeinated and I think I have the answer to the movie issue, which is just a manifestation of my general reluctance to walk away from something that is so disapointingly bad that it should be obvious.

The solution? I believe I need an actual gong, not simply the concept of gongability or leavability. Sometimes in life you just need a prop, a reinforcement for the possibility of action.

Hence, I'm putting out an APB on a gong or gong like object (buzzer, gong, whatever). If you see something you think would be good, please post a link here. Portability would be nice, but I'll sacrifice that for form and other function (a nice object that would hang well on a wall or off a shelf in my apartment which sounds great, is fun and satisfying to use, and doesn't freak out the cat but isn't really carryaboutable would be fine).