HIV is a lot easier to say...

...than AIDS. And AIDS is a lot easier to say when the person isn't actively sick. You'd think, or maybe you wouldn't but I did, that when someone has AIDS they are by definition sick. It's not true, not with everyone. My brother tells me that everyone has their own baseline T cell level that reflects "normal" immune function for them. So if I understand this correctly, the decline in T cell level that is an index of actual symptomatic AIDS is unique depending on the person's baseline. Thus even though my brother's T cell count is about 450, his immune system is not working at all well.

I could say "my brother has AIDS" last week and sound ok. I was worried about him last week, but last week he hadn't done meth, hadn't gotten an infection in his arm that went all the way down to bone, and hadn't mentioned that he's had a gastrointestinal problem that's resulted in a 25 lb weight loss in just a few weeks' time.

I hadn't heard from him since that night he called me last week. I had been calling him nearly every day. Yesterday, I called twice. This morning, he called back to tell me he had spent the night in the ER getting an IV antibiotic for the infection on his arm, that he got oral antibiotics to take for it, but that he probably will be in the hospital by the end of the week for more IV because his GI situation probably won't tolerate oral antibiotics.

It sounds like I'll be making a trip to Boston tomorrow. I started this post this morning but now it's about 6:00 PM and I just got a message that my brother's arm infection looks like drug resistant staph. He's back at the hospital and anticipating being admitted. I'm about to leave campus. I feel like I am going home to prepare for battle. With my parents (I don't want them in my life but my brother lives with them)? Not specifically, but with all the feelings dealing with them bring up. I will not lay that shit on my brother. Not now. So tonight I will do whatever it is that you do to prepare....shine the armor and sharpen the spears? Count my blessings and fortify myself for what will come. I have my chinese food, a funny movie, a talkative and extremely personable orange cat, and some good friends - all of which will be indespensible tonight I think.