Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Pure dag nasty evil?

I don't know. Today I spoke to a boy who I find utterly revolting. He's of indeterminate physical age, although I'd say his moral compass is about what you'd expect from an intellectually gifted monsterously spoiled 6 year old. As a kid, this guy pulled the wings off butterflies, I'm sure. He might well have a picture of Ayn Rand tattooed on his ass. He could have written the Satanic Bible.

I spent far far too long today speaking to him, having a conversation with him about personal philosophy, egoism, the pros and cons of altruistism, the difference between altrusim (which implies sacrifice) and collectivism, the nature of community participation (as a mutually beneficial act and goal), the price of ego driven isolation, and the like. None of this was stated as such. The conversation trudged around all of these topics with him mostly telling me that it is wrong universally for humans to act in a way that is anything other than blindly self serving. I of course gave vehement and varied counter arguments. But he is so committed to the correctness of his view that he sees all others as false, insincere, weak, or low. He still offered the usual platitudes of "people are who they are" but they were peppered with remarks like "but they choose to be that way" and "all humans are inherently selfish, I simply acknowledge this in myself and act accordingly". But they aren't! But you benefit from that!

Large men who think like this scare the bejeezus out of me.

I think I know how Clarisse felt after she talked to Hannibal. Not that this fella's a super genius, evil or not, but I felt a layer of moral filth sticking to me when I was done.

Thank god for friends and other good people I can be close to. Speaking to this boy today made me feel hopeless.

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