Missing

I miss T. This is probably why I'm still up. School started, well not officially but everyone's back and face time is demanded. The return to this routine without T as my partner affects me in so many small ways.

We still talk, see each other, and e-mail. We both still care about each other, I am quite sure of that. But I am very much not a part of his daily life. I could be, I suppose, if I were to take the initiative. But that would mean returning to taking it all the time - being responsible for planning and coordinating nearly all aspects of our romantic involvement, allowing my own work to come second to his ability to engage in those plans, and needing to bite my tongue practically off when he tells me about his family and the inevitable shit they put him through for trying to grow up.

I can't do that.

So I just miss him instead.