Honest job post

WPC Plant Shit Supervisor

While most jobs involve a fairly large amount of shit, this is the first one I've seen that comes right out and puts it in the name.

the cold, yes, that one

I have "the cold" again. I fought with this thing all god damned Fall it feels like and finally, while I was totally unemployed with no interviews or even good looking jobs to apply to, I was not sick with it.

Now, this week, I have two interviews. One is a job that I really really (really) want. And last week, I got "the cold" again. Today, I woke up 3 hours before my first interview (at the job I don't really really want but can't afford not to interview for) drenched in sweat and feeling like someone filed all around the insides of my trachea and pharynx. "The cold" is not your typically stuffy head blurg thing, it's unique in that it is, more than anything else, quite painful. I can hide a fairly large amount of pain for short times, however, the cold - since it is a cold - includes sniffles and gurgles and coughing. This makes it harder to hide. My instinct when sick is to not go out, thus there is no need to hide anything. But man, I NEED a job.

Since developing a few chronic health problems, I find that I have a sort of smoldering resentment for people who bring their nasty cold out in public for all of us to share in. Sure, some of them might be in a crappy position - no sick time or some other compelling reason (like desperately needed job interviews) to be out and about showering the populace with noxious bacteria, mycoplasms, or viruses. But I know there are people out there who just get up and go with their cold for really no good reason whatsoever. Explicitly, I doubt they give a second thought to it. Implicitly, I suspect these people are waiting to get an award for perfect attendance.

E.g., yesterday, I was at the public library checking out a new (for me) book. There were quite a few people there including a woman with two kids. The woman wrapped up at the check out desk and after standing around looking blank for a few seconds, the kids started to move on to follow her to the exit. The boy paused though then turned to face the rest of us waiting in line and let loose several big coughs at us.

Not only did he fail to cover his mouth, I saw that there was no evidence at all of even a half hearted attempt to appear to cover it. You know, the slightly raised arm or hand that doesn't make it to the face but that comes up nearly reflexively in someone who was at least taught manners. When I see this shit, it's all I can do to not say something. The only thing that stops me is that I am well aware of the weird social approach we as a society have to illness and sick behavior and I know that in this context, I'd be the nutjob who is "paranoid" about germs while they'd be the normal people who don't let being sick stop or even slow them down enough to cover their fucking mouths.

I emailed my first interviewer this morning to let him know I had the cold, tell him I was still interested in interviewing today, but offered to reschedule if he didn't want to share in my cold. This is not a move I was happy to be making (as I said above, I know my views on public health and cold sharing are minority at best) but truly, I cannot go sit in what will probably be a small room with someone for what will probably be at least 45 minutes and quite likely share this wretched thing with him. Sure, odds are he's one of the masses of idiots who march around sick waiting for the perfect attendance medal. But what if he's HIV positive or otherwise immunocompromised? What if he has a spouse, kid, or parent he cares for who is on chemotherapy? What if like me, he just had some really important things to do this week, things that could affect his life in a very significant way?

vocabulary

New word, courtesy of my fella

Luddsite \ˈlə-ˌsīt\ - noun. A website which seems to be designed by and for technologically disinclined individuals.

Usage. "The Luddite Reader continues to track luddite films, books, and music, along with news and luddish content links, at its luddsite"

(the source of this quote has a link to the luddsite which directs, rather appropriately, to a page full o'spam.)

unsettled

And disquieted. This is how I feel.

It's not a particularly intense feeling, but it is nonetheless compelling, like a sound you can hear but not well enough to identify either its origin or cause.

thunder and lightning and snow

That was yesterday. It was only one roll of thunder and one flash of lightening at the height of the storm, but for those of you who have not experienced the snow thunderstorm, let me tell you, it's a bit creepy. I think we had a winter with thunder snowstorms a few years ago, after a very stormy Fall (possibly this was the same year as Hurricanes Katrina and Rita). Come to think of it, this might be why it disturbed me so much last night.

My usual seasonal mix of antipathy and apathy has struck, finally. I had been dodging it while I was working but now that I'm home and my days are much less structured (alternating between hours long job searching, speed reading, and futzing around with the occasional photoshop or cooking project), I find I haven't got as many places or tasks in which to hide from the "Hap-happiest season of all".

A___ and I did get a tree (courtesy of cjblue, thanks!). It's an artificial tree, which suits me fine since our place is a bit small this year for a real one (baseboard heating and real trees in a crowded apartment are a combo I'd like to avoid). But very soon after getting it - before we got a chance to get it out of the box - A____ hurt his arm. The injury meant strict no lifting limits for most of the past week. Today, now that his arm has been feeling better for a whole 24 hours, he's off to dig out the cars, after which we maybe will do the furniture shuffling that is necessary to even get started with the tree. Snow shoveling is a less enjoyable but necessary use for the newly and barely recovered limb. The problem is, although A___ seems to think he'll be fine, I am not convinced his arm is recovered enough to do either let alone both.

The situation is a familiar one for me, although I am hardly ever on this side of it. I'm usually the one deciding how to use my own small physical exertion allowances. I am happy the joint upon which the choice to do this or that (or both) hinges is not mine for once, however I am sorry for A_____ because I know how much it sucks to have a limited physical resource with which to (even attempt to) satisfy wants AND needs.

In the more here and now, practical side of things, I am really hoping A____ doesn't reinjure his arm shoveling. There's a shit load of snow out there.

In part because I want my place to be nice and less depressing and in part because I'd be overcome with guilt if I sat on my ass doing nothing while A___ busted his ass (and shouolder) shoveling, my job for today is to clean up a bit inside, move and carry the light shit for setting up the tree. While I find my rational side is quite motivated by wanting to feel like an equal partner here and while I'd like very much for my home to be pretty and calming, I am finding it very difficult to muster up that spark I need to get up and going.

This is why at these times, I've learned not to wait for a spark of insipration. If I did that, I'd be waiting a long god damned time. If those totally shitty years between 16 and 22 taught me anything, it's that I am not going to get a burst of energy which I can ride into a spirited and friendly chore-doing frenzy. Nope. At times like this, to get my apathetic, soggy, weary self up and moving, I find it's better to think of it as something that needs to be done, like a job. That is, there's plenty of disinteresting shit out there that I would do simply because it offered me a paycheck. And so this particular bit of disinteresting shit is something I will do because I believe that later on me, me who will not be in such a crappy mood, will appreciate having a clean apartment with something pretty to look at.

happy cat

Oh my cat is happy. He has a new canned food. Nature's Variety Instinct Lamb, Rabbit, and Venison formula. He digs all of them, and so far all of them are kind to his gut. Pending lab results from his next vet appointment or a turn on the gut symptoms, I think we have a winner.

Two

I've applied to two jobs since Friday. One is about 12 miles away (through Hartford, blech) and is in insurance (because that is what you have in Hartford) and one is 3.5 miles away and is in academic support (advising).

Can you guess which one I am hoping I get?

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

that time of year

Just waiting for the "Two A holes Sell a Senate Seat" skit.